This is usually the first question asked when it comes to house churches: “What about children?
The implication, of course, is that children are going to lose out if there is not an array of formal children’s programs to teach and take care of the children.
The assumption is that the “Sunday School” program provided by traditional churches is the best way to raise up spiritual kids. The fact is, the majority of children raised in these programs exit youth group after high school (if they have lasted that long) and do not become regular church-goers. This is not to say that something of value didn’t take place, but it does point out that we are not getting the “results” that we hoped for.
I believe there is potential in the House Church for far better results.
Why?
First of all, children will spend more time with their families in worship and seeing their family members involved in spiritual activities.
Jesus never, ever said: "Suffer the little children to be packed away in the nursery." Can you imagine the children being led to Children’s Church during the Sermon on the Mount?
The churches were in the home, families lived in homes, children lived in families, and therefore, children met with the church in the home. And despite the Scriptural silence on kids and church, I can guarantee one thing: there weren’t any Sunday Schools and Children’s Churches.
Children need to be in families who are modeling their own spiritual life. This is more important than 1,000 teaching sessions on faith in Christ.
A Third Day article says:
If they [children] see parents with faith, they have faith. If they see parents with adoration of all God has created, they get adoration of God’s creation. If they see parents who truly believe God will provide what they need, they believe God provides.
House church provides far more opportunity for this to happen as children are integrated into the life of “real” church. They will see their parents actively participating in worship, fellowship, communion, and the word—not as spectators but as participants.
Secondly, in house church, children will experience what it means to be brought up within the context of a family. The importance of this cannot be overstressed. Faith is caught through quality relationships not quality programs! This is essential to grasp!
Wayne Jacobsen says it very well:
But don’t our children need church activities? I’d suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God’s life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-powered entertainment, leave ‘church’ when they leave their parents’ home. Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need to demonstrate how to live in God’s life together.
Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal friendships with non-relative adults. No Sunday school can fill that role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of sharing God’s life together as families could say that they had not lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children’s program.
You will never survive in house church with children unless you really grasp and believe what Wayne wrote: “It is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children’s program.”
To this, I add the point already made: “It is far more important that children are around their parents actively engaged in spiritual activities than being shuffled off to “children’s” programs.
Now, if these points are grasped, it becomes much easier and less frightening to begin to talk about the practical issues of doing house church with children.
No, it’s not simple, and yes, it’s sometimes messy. From our own experiences, it requires ongoing discussion within the church… and this is good. Working with our children in our own homes requires an ongoing discussion between the parents. The same is true at church. If we are going to provide for their spiritual needs while also balancing the needs of adults, it requires ongoing, frequent discussion.
We are discovering that there are as many different ways of working with children as there are house churches. For those that want a little guidance, I first refer you back to Dan Trotter’s article where he provides seven practical suggestions for working with children.
At home-church.org there is a slew of responses from house churches who were asked to share their experiences with children. If you want to really “get into” the practical side of this, be sure to read the responses.
Above all, don’t underestimate our children. They are part of the church; they are filled with the same Spirit as the adults. They are able to adapt and they are able to participate as members of the Body of Christ.
As a Third Day article says:
When children are viewed as part of the group, part of the family, they will make the necessary adjustments to be a part. Children will adapt. The adults are the one’s who need to check their view on including children in their church life. Parents should be helping their children make the adjustments but the whole group participates in their attitude toward children. Be prepared to see and hear some wonderful things from the kids.
The final chapter on working with children has not been written. This is an area for prayer, creativity, experimentation, and risk-taking. But let’s not be afraid to do all of this. House churches, just be their nature, have more to offer children than, perhaps, any other setting.
What’s your ideas on this?
Go to Part 8: It’s All About Jesus
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Comments
22 responses to “House Church Basics Pt. 7: What About Children?”
I don’t have much to say except that I really liked this post..particularly the link to seven practical suggestions for working with kids. Although my husband won’t agree with me on how often my son should go to church, when he does go I’ve always given him the choice of sunday school or church service…even at seven and eight he preferred in service.
I grew up in Church where there was only the choice to have your whole family in service. We had to go to Catachism (sp?) on Saturday, but Church on Sunday was in service. We learned from very early to behave or be taken out. (Taken out with my Dad was not an option you preferred)
Good comments. We have young children mixed in to a couple of our non-traditional congregations and it really resonated with me saying that it is an ongoing discussion to determine how this works.
The thing I like about non-traditional settings such as a house church, is that there is the flexibility to change the arrangements as needs change – eg as children get older or develop other needs. There is not the same sense of being locked into doing something the same way because that is how it has always been done.
My wife and I are seriously preparing to start a house group, I don’t believe in tithing anymore, but wonder how to go about offerings etc. if we need any at all?
Reading this cleared up many questions. Thanks. Read a testimony (About weather and children) on my blog) on how simple/easy it is for children to relate to God by following our examples.
Fathers are given the primary responsibility to instrust their children in the Lord, Eph6:2?
Doing this home discipleship well helps the father to meet higher leadership requirements mentioned in Timothy, such as, not provoking your children (hot headed), and managing his house well. These abilities and others transfer to a leader’s service to his community.
This is an interesting sight. First visit.
Thanks
I wonder… when people talk about including kids in the “church”… are they usually talking about a meeting? What about the rest of our lives? If a “house church” is only a meeting, and not a community, does that make it any more likely to hold onto grown kids?
I’d like to know more about that group in Australia (the quote by WJ) who had “community” for 20 years. What did they do, to be more than a meeting?
Does anyone know?
I think you might like this post a lot. It’s about kids in christian community:
http://christinyall.blogspot.com/2005/09/new-kind-of-family.html
Are Your Children or Grandchildren, Kids/Goats?
We really should try to speak like we love GOD and all HIS Creation, especially HIS Children.
In Strong’s Hebrew and Greek Concordances: His Children
On your website on Internet we see the words Kid/Kids , if we looked at the language of the Bible we see Goats.
In Strong’s Concordance the Old Testament Hebrew word Kid is Strong’s number ryes sa’iyr of res sa’ir, bn, zn from TWOT-2274c, 2274e KJV – Kid 28, Goat 24, Devil 2, Satyr 2, Hairy 2, Rough 1.
In the New Testament Greek we see Kid used once. In Luke 15:29 it is also defined in Strong’s Concordance number as Goat.
We read in Matthew 25:31-32: When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep [His Children] from the goats : And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
Mark 16:17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues [the language of God’s word, the Bible].
Acts 2:4 And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues*, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
* not the language of the world.
Let God be Magnified!
In Christian love,
Sincerely,
THE END OF THE CHURCH AGE … AND AFTER by Harold Camping.
This book is freely available through Family Radio:
http://www.familyradio.com
Overview
The book examines these serious questions:
• Is it true that we are now in the time of the Great Tribulation?
• Is it true that the age of the institutional church has come to an end?
• Is it true that God commands the true believers in Christ as their Saviour to immediately depart from their churches?
• Is it true that God is no longer using churches to evangelize the world?
• Is it true that the task of world evangelization has now been assigned by God to individuals working alone or collectively together in such ministries is Family Radio?
• Is it true that without exception presently all local churches througout the world are under the judgment of God?
• Is it true that God no longer is saving by means of the local church?
• Is it true that Satan is ruling in every local church throughout the world?
• Is it true that the judgment that is now on every local church will transition into the final judgment at the end of the world?
• Is it true that all the way to Christ’s return God will be adding to the eternal church those who truly become saved?
Appreciate Cornelis’ desire to see children honored… That’s important. However, one of Webster Dictionaries definitions for “kid” is: “a young person, especially a child.” I am quite sure that no one uses this term while confusing it with its other, non-related (goat) definition any more than when I call my wife “honey” does she think I am referring to her as a sticky, sweet food. Let us, however, love and honor our children/kids.
Roger,
I do believe that what Mr. Droog is talking about is the fact that all people are one or the other goats-(unsaved) or kids-(sheep of Christ or saved).
I do believe that it is very important that all of us read the Bible to find the truth of God’s Word. We are in the End Times of this World and none of us should wish that our children go to hell. So we need to look at this question very seriously. Is my child a goat-(unsaved) or a kid-(sheep of Christ or saved)?
Am I a goat-(unsaved) or a kid-(sheep of Christ or saved)?
Thank You Mr. Droog for posting the truth of God’s Word.
in Him,
Vicki,
Isaiah40:31,
Hello,
Well, I guess I just do not know my farm animals, I know a kid is the baby to a goat.
I made a mistake on my post above, because I put kid where I should have only
placed sheep. I do believe Mr Droog is trying to explain that it is just as
important to pray for the salvation of children, and to ask the question if,
a child is a goat- unsaved, or one of Christ’s sheep, one of the saved.
Sorry for my mistake.
Thank you,
Vicki
Any advice on what to do when meeting as a house church in an urban setting and dozens of children show up regularly without their parents? If there are a few adults present and a couple dozen children present, should more of the attention then go to the children?
hmmm… Sounds like your church will have to decide whether this is an outreach they are being called to and, if so, approach it that way. Perhaps there would be a different time in which the church could meet just to focus on building one another up.
Wow, as a youth pastor, I have often wondered about the purpose of separating children from their families during times of faith development.
Interestingly enough, as I recently began investigating the idea of simple, organic church, this was the first objection that raised in my mind, “But what will you do with the children??” But almost immediately, my thought was that the children would be where I’ve believed that they needed to be all along: with their parents.
And now that my wife and I are expecting our own bundle of joy (How cool is that!!!), my mind again asks, how powerful is it for a child (even a small child) to see a parent or parents engaging themselves in Christ among a body of believers? I think that it’s an opportunity that we all should have had, and I hope it’s an opportunity that I will be able to give to my own child.
Keep up the good work guys. You are in my prayers.
Josh Boldman
http://www.joshboldman.com
It is better to be with the children. They should not be separated from the adults or given some candy-coated substitute. Otherwise, when they grow up and abandon the Santa Claus myth, they’ll just throw eveything else out, including Christian beliefs. They too often live in their own world, inhabited just by their peers. The adults have little concept what’s going on in their minds. Once they have spiritual questions, they often trek out on their own and get caught in one of the many cult traps. Let them get used to the idea, that when they have questions, they can ask an adult, and if the adult doesn’t know, he/she can ask their pastor.
We Are Almost There !!! by Harold Camping. New Publications – Family Radio Literature Online:
http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/frame/
May God have mercy upon you and save you from His final destruction.
RE: (May God have mercy upon you and save you from His final destruction.)
Would it not be better to say?
(May God have mercy on us,)
Ofcourse as you and I know He will not save everyone.
Yes, inded, The Time is very very near, 2011!
Time does have an End. That End is very soon.
Praise God for His great mercy!
This is a really old post! Still interesting though! Not sure if anyone is still monitoring this or not– but i’d love to hear about the fruit of this philosophy 13 years later– How are the Children? How have they done in this model?
We are part of a church comtemplating moving to this model after covid-19 has shut down our regular services for more than a year. We’ve been doing house churches with online teaching for 16+ months as our local state gov’t has prohibited public church meetings for almost this entire time ( and conculsively prohibited children meeting together completely during this time).
One of my concerns is with the model of multiplication. I’d love to see this grow and multiply- but what happens to peoples hearts, espescially kids, when those important adults in their lives (Christian aunts and uncles) multiply and start a new group every year or two? will there not be a profound sense of loss and impending loss with every new family that comes in?
I speak from a bit of experience having raised my kids on the mission field. Our mission ( and nation of origin) requires us to return to our passport country every 4-5 years or so for 6 months to a year. We did that. but upon returning found out that our friends, and our kids friends had “moved-on” without us. we had to try to interject ourselves into their lives- and after a while, everyone knew we were going to be gone soon, so they just stopped letting us in. and our kids just stopped trying. it has been devastating collateral damage. As our church moves towards this model- I am greatly concerned for the kids and teens that may be affected by the cycle of grow, know, loss that they may be affected by.
Has this been born out in this model these last 13 years? or how has it been with adults and kids alike with such constant loss? Or is there a way of keeping a core group together and only sending out the new ones?
how’d that work out for you?
Mike, I am still here and appreciate your concerns and questions. We have seen a great deal of fruit in children growing up in this environment from the standpoint of these young people discovering at a young age that they ‘are the church’ and have much to share when the church gathers together. Many develop a profound sense of ownership of their faith and their church experience. Regarding multiplication, this has been more difficult to attain in our comfortable western culture (though we continue to see this profoundly in other contexts). But multiplication does not have to mean ‘leaving the nest.’ In many cases, people and families remain rooted in their parent group while simultaneously planting daughter groups. Sometimes, they meet less often with the parent group but they still remain connected.
My husband and I pastired an active house church for 30 years. Because our church expenses were very small, we spent the balance of all of our tithes/offerings on missions.
Through the years, the Lord revealed the particular people and other ministries who should receive the money.